The Oldest DMs Ever Found. And They Sound… Familiar.
- Mike Adamemes
- Nov 16, 2025
- 2 min read
When you think of Rome, you picture emperors, legions, and epic battles.When you think of Cardano, you picture frogs, dogs, and degens arguing about market caps.
But deep down, between Hadrian’s Wall and the Cardano X-feed, there’s something both worlds share:people always leave behind traces of their funniest, messiest, and most honest thoughts.
The Romans carved them on wooden tablets.We post them on X and Discord.The format changed, the content didn’t.
Roman DM’s Preserved in Mud, Cardano DM’s Preserved in Screenshots
Vindolanda left behind thousands of thin wooden tablets.These are the oldest “DMs” in the world — and they sound exactly like Cardano posts today.
A Roman soldier begs home:
“Send me more socks. The weather is terrible.”
A Cardano degen in 2025 begs a project team:
“Devz, can you add more liquidity? The market is terrible.”
The difference?Socks warmed their feet.Liquidity warms our ego.
The Oldest Female Handwriting in Europe = the First ‘GM Queen’ Ever
Claudia Severa sent her friend a birthday invitation. It’s the oldest known female handwritten message in Europe.
Basically the first “hey girl” in history.
If she lived today, she would write:
“GM sis, come to the birthday party. I’m bringing HOSKY memes and wine.”
And it would get 300 likes.
Romans Complained About Beer — Degens Complain About Charts
A Roman soldier writes:
“The beer is bad. Send better.”
Today that would be:
“$SNEK down 12%. Send hats.”
2,000 years apart.Same energy.
‘Send Socks’ = the First WAGMI Moment
One of Vindolanda’s most famous messages:
“Send me more socks, sandals, and underwear.”
Cardano version:
“Send me more time before the mint — I’m not ready.”
Truth: Romans had trenches and cold rain.We have meme trenches and FOMO.
No one’s ready — but we’re all still here.
Romans: a List of Falcons.
Cardano: a List of Tokens.**
Vindolanda includes a detailed inventory of hunting falcons.
Cardano includes a detailed inventory of:
frogs
dogs
mice
penguins
glittering eagles
pig-based AI algorithms
Romans trained birds of prey.We train memes.
Sometimes it works.Sometimes it flies away.
Romans Recorded Who Was ‘Punished for Being Drunk.’
We Record Who Got ‘Rugged.’**
Nothing changed except the penalties.
The Weather Is Awful’ — the Oldest GM in the World
Nearly half the tablets are complaints about the weather.
You could summarize them like this:
“GM, it’s cold.”
Rome 120 AD → GM.Cardano 2025 → GM.
Universal constant.
Romans vs. Britons = the First Blockchain Tribalism
One tablet describes Britons as:
“Naked, painted blue. Savages.”
Literally the earliest FUD in history.
Today it sounds like:
“Solana? That’s the chain with exploding meme coins.”
Why It Matters
The Vindolanda tablets remind us of something simple:
Technology changes. People stay the same.
Romans:
sent invitations
complained about the weather
begged for supplies
gossiped about neighbors
hardcoped friendships
Exactly like we do — just without emojis.
And while we drop gm’s, roasts, and bullish comments on Cardano today, someone in the future might find an old server and say:
“This is the most human evidence of 21st-century life.Look at these messages…the people were really trying.”
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